Maoism

In a nation where one man set in motion a rage that killed tens of thousands of people, you would think that man would be hated. Instead this uncle was revered like a god. Killing sparrows, criticizing teachers to the point of death, and sending people to starve and re educate in the country side are these cat’s most famous deeds. He meows his name a lot but leaves out the ‘w’ and changes the ‘e’ to an ‘a’. He has approximately 1.3 billion minions who like to say his name the same way, “Mao.”

Among these minions are 100,000 people who stay in a “line” for two hours just to see his body. This line, however, is more a surging mass of pushing people, knife-elbowed grandmas, and almost-squashed five-year-old children. And on Saturday the 17, 2009 at approximately 10:00 in the morning, five foreigners joined the fray to see contestant in Baddest Person Ever (along with Stalin and Adolf), responsible for the deaths of seventy million people, former president of the People’s Republic of China, Chairman Mao Zedong.

In an enormous mausoleum, covered by a glass wall and a glass case, His body lies. His body is very orange, and it has an unnatural glow to it. But that is not the scariest thing. The line is horrible. At any break possible, everybody runs to get ahead of everybody resulting in no one getting ahead of anybody. Grandmas are especially good at pushing you aside because of their short height, and because of their extremely sharp elbows that just happen to come flying into your ribs. Several men try to push past and you have to be firm—very, very firm. So when you go to China, pop over to Beijing, get the Mao’s Mausoleum Line experience, see a very orange body. Have some fun.